Changing your avatar isn't enough

Over the last few days I have read blogs, comments, Tweets, etc. regarding the absurdity of cartoon profile pics on Facebook to raise awareness for child abuse. I had decided since this was such a popular subject and everyone has an opinion, I wasn't going near it. I am sure we are all getting tired of reading about it; however, I changed my mind. As a woman, that's my prerogative, right?

I admit, I changed my avatar to "Droopy". I didn't do it because I thought by doing so I was single handed changing or stopping child abuse. I am not that naive. I did it because, well, I couldn't think of a good reason not to. I think Droopy is adorable and I always loved his attitude. By changing my avatar I am hurting no one. So why shouldn't I change it?

In the big scheme of things, the opinion that it's a ridiculous idea and we should be doing more than changing an avatar is correct. It is my hope against all hope that just one of my Facebook friends sees my little cartoon character and thinks, "wow, I have been sheltered and forgot this is an issue. Maybe I should do something about the neighbor who abuses his child, or do something to help the little boy down the road whose mother is always drunk or spaced out from drugs." Maybe it will not happen, but there is always a chance.

One blog suggested we turn off our computer and get off our ass and actually do something. Give to shelters, volunteer, anything. She's right. We should do something and I want to, but it isn't always that easy.

I am broke. I am struggling to make it day by day. I am ashamed to admit this, but there have been times when I have gone to our local food pantry for a box of food so my children can eat. I have been searching high and low for a job, but there are few available in my small rural town. I have little experience and am competing against those that do. Even at fast food restaurants who were once begging for help, jobs are being fought for. So, please don't judge me because I am poor. I am honestly trying. I simply can not afford to give food, supplies, essentials or money to shelters.

Time wise, I am a mother of four children and help my husband push his furniture restoration business, as well as do his book keeping. Although business is slow right now, hence the reason we are broke, I still stay busy. When I have checked into volunteering I have found they want you to commit to a certain time. I can't do that, especially as the job search continues.

Does that mean I do nothing and believe changing my avatar is enough? Hell no. Do I do enough? Probably not. Do I do what I can? Yes.

I don't help on a huge scale, but I help one child at a time. My home is always open and everyone, with the exception of one nineteen year old man (that's another story), is welcome. I don't care if teens are rich or poor, super intelligent or struggling to pass, straight, gay, or bi, white, black, Hispanic or martian, popular or a loner, jock or nerd. None of that matters to my family.

God is amazing and has always provided. I have seen our home filled with my own four kids plus six more. We had little food in the pantry, but somehow found a way to stretch it so each child was full. Three of the children at our home one of those times has a drug addict mother, a father in jail, and grandparents that drove trucks and were never home. These kids ate one meal a day during the week when they had free school lunch. On weekends, they were often lucky to have a piece of toast with peanut butter. I gladly fed them every chance I could. Not only were they provided food, but they were provided something much more important. A loving caring place. They were always amazed we had family dinners and were astounded we said Thanks each meal. Eventually, these boys were asking to say the prayer.

Another young girl practically lives with us and calls me Mom. Her mother passed away four years ago from a drug overdose. Her step-mother had been abusive after that. We met her only a year ago, and since then she has a safe haven. A place where she can be herself, know love and never be afraid of abuse. Yes, I have yelled at her for coming in late without calling, but she knows it's because I was worried. I treat her exactly as I do my own flesh and blood children.

We have a friend whose parents are uninterested in him, except when they are telling him he isn't good enough. I know of no physical abuse, but I have my suspicions. I do know that he is emotionally abused. Again, I provide a safe haven where he can discuss anything and everything without fear of being ostracized. I gave him his first birthday party he has had since he was five. I hug him every chance I get.

It isn't unusual for me to receive a call at three in the morning from a kid who just needs to talk.

I have only been in one situation where the parent was known to be actually abusive, and I have worked hard with my sister in law to remove the 9 month old child from his parent's care. My sis in law now has temporary custody and I keep him during the day. I call it co-parenting. If and when I run into the situation again, you can be your bottom dollar I will be right there fighting with all my might to protect that child.

Bottom line, if you change your avatar, make sure you do it because you truly care and aren't just following the crowd or sitting on your butt pretending that's all it takes to help.