When I signed up for a Twitter account it was only to keep up with my kids and their friends. I started out with four followers and followed six (three of my kids and three of their friends). It was fun and I learned things about them I wouldn't have otherwise, like my son's fondness of the "F" word!, but that's all it was, pure silliness.
Fast forward nine months:
I am up to 120 followers and follow 245, only a handful are kids! I still have lots of fun on Twitter and just last week my son and I got into the silliest, weirdest, most fun conversation ever. It meant a lot to me to just be goofy but it meant the most to me when I read on Eric's Facebook page "My mom and I are so silly!" For the most part, though, my tweets and friends are a little more serious now.
Sure, I tweet things like, "Thank God for my morning cup of coffee," or "Time for kids to come home," but most of my tweets regard my writing, others writings, books I have read, authors I love, and so on.
I am also big on using Twitter as a learning tool. I follow many writer's, both highly successful authors and those just starting out. Some of my very favorites are: @TheBookDoctors; @thebookmaven; @EllenhopkinsYA and @jw_collier. There are so many more who provide a wealth of information and/or support, but I won't bore you with the entire list. For my silly side, I enjoy following @SteveMartinToGo.
Many of those I follow post useful links to Blogs or websites. Most of the time I can't read them right then so I book mark them and read it all when I am on "research and learning" time. I have learned about properly formatted manuscripts, word usage, sentence structure, info to put in queries, how long it takes to get published, chances of getting published and much more.
Today I jumped into my first Twitter Chat at @novelpitch. I wasn't sure what to expect and didn't think someone insignificant and unpublished such as myself would receive a lot of feedback, but I was wrong. The information provided was invaluable and there were some great questions asked. Not only was it a learning experiences, but I made more friends who are writer's and have the same interests as me. One I am most looking forward to is a writer who is a Stay at Home Mom. It's easy to feel alone and deserted when friends don't understand the quest for success in writing, nor can they understand how difficult it is to balance writing with family needs. Through Twitter, I have found people similar to me to share daily writing life with.
Social networks are what you make of them, at least that's my opinion. My Facebook is mostly person and for fun, although I do some networking. Twitter is mostly work, with a little frivolous fun thrown in here and there. I hope to learn more and utilize Twitter and maybe Facebook in my quest for writing success, but will fight to keep it lighthearted and fun as well.
If you have Twitter, you can find me at www.twitter.com/tinatoler. Look forward to sharing writing stories, trials and success with you there.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
My inspiration, my brother
During the Thanksgiving holiday I took a few much needed days off from worrying, or at least I tried to. I put my writing on hold for the most part, although I did hash out a rough draft of a short story (when inspiration hits I have to run with it). I still read tweets, bookmarked ones I wanted to research at a later time, but posted few of my own and I signed off Facebook for a week. During that time, I was on a serious quest for employment. Larry runs his own restoration business and jobs just haven't been coming in. I have four children who have needs such as food, so I decided to take action. I was going to write only part time, perhaps on weekends or in the evenings when I had a few spare moments, but my first two objectives would be working and taking care of my kids. I was miserable even considering writing as a part time endeavor, but felt worse having no income.
The job search wasn't great. We live in a small town and jobs are next to impossible to find. I put in a few applications, went in and spoke with managers, all the things I am supposed to do, but haven't received an interview request. It's discouraging to say the least.
My best friend, who happens to be my brother, came to visit for Thanksgiving with his family. It was wonderful seeing him again, but I wasn't myself. I was off in my own little world of worry. I didn't want to be, but that's where I was.
I have to say, I know many people who have their lives together and seem to have reached their goal, but deep down they are unhappy. Michael is not one of those people. He honestly has it all figured out and is excited about his life and is sincerely happy. Listening to him was depressing. It was tough listening to him and realizing how far away I am from my goals, dreams, visions, etc. Sometimes I am not even sure what my visions are, let alone how to reach them. On the other hand, I have seen Michael grow from a lonely, lost man to who he is now, so he was also an inspiration.
We have a great relationship and I can honestly open up to him. He never judges me, tells me I am crazy (well, he does sometimes but he doesn't mean it), tells me I am hopeless or to give up. Instead, he listens with understanding and patience. He may not always agree with what I think, do, or feel, but he supports me no matter what.
Throughout the next couple of days our conversation often turned to my goals. He asked what I really wanted and what it would take to get there. After listening to my excitement about writing, he was convinced that is what I need to do.
He has given me advice on promoting my Devotional Book, once I get it back on the market (by Dec), and how to make some money writing. He never said, "writing is too hard so give up and find a job", instead he told me, "Don't work a 9-5 corporate job where you leave your kids. Make them part of your business and Larry's business and be a family."
Of course as a writer I have doubts if I am talented enough. I think most writers feel that from time to time. I voiced my concern to Michael and although he was polite, I think deep down he was laughing at me. He truly believes I have talent and I can make this a career. Nothing feels better than a good dose of self confidence instilled in you by your one and only brother. If he was one of those who told me what I wanted to hear and avoided hurting my feelings, I may not have taken his words to heart; however, Michael is brutally honest. He has no problem telling me where I am failing, where I need to improve or critiquing my work. He isn't mean about it, but he is honest.
Since he left I have thought about what he has said. I have prayed and searched inside myself for answers. There is still a part of me that thinks I should be out working a job and actually making money, but I know writing is my passion and my calling, second only behind my children. They will always come first. I now have the confidence I needed, at least this week, and will continue working toward my goal. I know it will not be easy. I have read the statistics. Finding an agent, editor, publisher, and actually making more than a thousand dollars total is not a guarantee, but it is worth the effort. My daughter told me one day, "Mommy, if you don't chase your dreams and give us that example, how we will ever reach ours?" So, on to writing I go.
I hope when you have your doubts, feel like giving up, or think it's hopeless you have a friend like Michael to encourage you. If not, encourage yourself, because after all, you are can be your own best friend!
Let's go get a cup of coffee, turn our writing program on and get started on reaching our goals!
The job search wasn't great. We live in a small town and jobs are next to impossible to find. I put in a few applications, went in and spoke with managers, all the things I am supposed to do, but haven't received an interview request. It's discouraging to say the least.
My best friend, who happens to be my brother, came to visit for Thanksgiving with his family. It was wonderful seeing him again, but I wasn't myself. I was off in my own little world of worry. I didn't want to be, but that's where I was.
I have to say, I know many people who have their lives together and seem to have reached their goal, but deep down they are unhappy. Michael is not one of those people. He honestly has it all figured out and is excited about his life and is sincerely happy. Listening to him was depressing. It was tough listening to him and realizing how far away I am from my goals, dreams, visions, etc. Sometimes I am not even sure what my visions are, let alone how to reach them. On the other hand, I have seen Michael grow from a lonely, lost man to who he is now, so he was also an inspiration.
We have a great relationship and I can honestly open up to him. He never judges me, tells me I am crazy (well, he does sometimes but he doesn't mean it), tells me I am hopeless or to give up. Instead, he listens with understanding and patience. He may not always agree with what I think, do, or feel, but he supports me no matter what.
Throughout the next couple of days our conversation often turned to my goals. He asked what I really wanted and what it would take to get there. After listening to my excitement about writing, he was convinced that is what I need to do.
He has given me advice on promoting my Devotional Book, once I get it back on the market (by Dec), and how to make some money writing. He never said, "writing is too hard so give up and find a job", instead he told me, "Don't work a 9-5 corporate job where you leave your kids. Make them part of your business and Larry's business and be a family."
Of course as a writer I have doubts if I am talented enough. I think most writers feel that from time to time. I voiced my concern to Michael and although he was polite, I think deep down he was laughing at me. He truly believes I have talent and I can make this a career. Nothing feels better than a good dose of self confidence instilled in you by your one and only brother. If he was one of those who told me what I wanted to hear and avoided hurting my feelings, I may not have taken his words to heart; however, Michael is brutally honest. He has no problem telling me where I am failing, where I need to improve or critiquing my work. He isn't mean about it, but he is honest.
Since he left I have thought about what he has said. I have prayed and searched inside myself for answers. There is still a part of me that thinks I should be out working a job and actually making money, but I know writing is my passion and my calling, second only behind my children. They will always come first. I now have the confidence I needed, at least this week, and will continue working toward my goal. I know it will not be easy. I have read the statistics. Finding an agent, editor, publisher, and actually making more than a thousand dollars total is not a guarantee, but it is worth the effort. My daughter told me one day, "Mommy, if you don't chase your dreams and give us that example, how we will ever reach ours?" So, on to writing I go.
I hope when you have your doubts, feel like giving up, or think it's hopeless you have a friend like Michael to encourage you. If not, encourage yourself, because after all, you are can be your own best friend!
Let's go get a cup of coffee, turn our writing program on and get started on reaching our goals!
Friday, November 19, 2010
From Short Stories to Books
I last wrote about getting started writing and wondering how I went from short stories to writing a book. Since then I have been doing a lot of thinking about that question and wish I had a concrete answer, but unfortunately I don't.
The first book I started is a young adult novel about a teen girl who deals with mother issues (don't all teens?), boyfriend troubles, trying to figure out who she is, and trying to understand what is happening to her grandmother as her Alzheimer's progresses. I wanted to write it in honor of my own grandmother and changes that take place in her life. Watching her decline has been difficult for me, and equally difficult for my children. I don't think anyone knows how to accept having someone you love with all your heart turn into a stranger who no longer knows you. I wanted to write a book to help teens who are watching a grand parent, uncle, parent, or other loved ones fighting the battle.
That's how I had the book planned anyway. Some how through it I became too emotional and decided against Alzheimer's. I showed a loving grand daughter/grand mother relationship, then wrote the grandmother died in a car accident. After showing Granny's personality and sharing some of her past with her, her death upset me greatly and I stopped writing.
That was two years ago.
Yesterday I found the file and reread it. Not trying to brag, but for a rough draft it's awesome! At some point in the near (or at least somewhat near) future, I want to revise what I have written and go with my first idea of Alzheimer's.
So, watching my grandmother slowly fading into someone unfamiliar started my book writing career.
I also tend to be a huge daydreamer. I always have been and have been in more trouble at school for not paying attention than for anything (I won't mention how long ago that was). I also have the tendency to be extremely talkative when the subject is something I am interested in. Writing books captures my imaginative and talkative sides in a positive, productive way. It is no longer a waste of time for me to daydream, but is essential to my writing.
Writing an entire novel is time consuming, grueling, and challenging. It isn't for everyone. If you think writing a novel is easy you have been mislead. It's not as hard as, say, brain surgery, but it isn't for the faint at heart. Once you become attached and in love with your characters, it hurts to cause them harm of any kind and as I showed with Granny, it's easy to walk away. It isn't real life. No one is going to make you continue. No one is going to care if you go days, weeks, or months without writing a word. You have to force yourself to keep going. That said, once you finish a work, even if it's just a rough draft with too many typos, poorly structured sentences and have sections that don't quite work, is a real high! After months and months of laboring over a keyboard, cup of coffee at hand, seeing a completed work is worth all the effort.
Think of it like pregnancy. A woman typically goes through morning sickness, aches and pains, kicks, outgrows all her clothes, watches as her body becomes an alien form, and then, after all that, she gives birth! Even with pain meds, it's still painful. But, once she sees that sweet, perfect new born baby, she knows it was worth it!
Ok, I have had four kids and finishing my novel wasn't exactly the same as having children. Seeing a finished product is awesome, but it can't compare to the love of a child, but hopefully the analogy gives you an idea.
Time for me to fill my coffee cup and do more revisions. Get yourself a cup and go to work on your own masterpiece!
The first book I started is a young adult novel about a teen girl who deals with mother issues (don't all teens?), boyfriend troubles, trying to figure out who she is, and trying to understand what is happening to her grandmother as her Alzheimer's progresses. I wanted to write it in honor of my own grandmother and changes that take place in her life. Watching her decline has been difficult for me, and equally difficult for my children. I don't think anyone knows how to accept having someone you love with all your heart turn into a stranger who no longer knows you. I wanted to write a book to help teens who are watching a grand parent, uncle, parent, or other loved ones fighting the battle.
That's how I had the book planned anyway. Some how through it I became too emotional and decided against Alzheimer's. I showed a loving grand daughter/grand mother relationship, then wrote the grandmother died in a car accident. After showing Granny's personality and sharing some of her past with her, her death upset me greatly and I stopped writing.
That was two years ago.
Yesterday I found the file and reread it. Not trying to brag, but for a rough draft it's awesome! At some point in the near (or at least somewhat near) future, I want to revise what I have written and go with my first idea of Alzheimer's.
So, watching my grandmother slowly fading into someone unfamiliar started my book writing career.
I also tend to be a huge daydreamer. I always have been and have been in more trouble at school for not paying attention than for anything (I won't mention how long ago that was). I also have the tendency to be extremely talkative when the subject is something I am interested in. Writing books captures my imaginative and talkative sides in a positive, productive way. It is no longer a waste of time for me to daydream, but is essential to my writing.
Writing an entire novel is time consuming, grueling, and challenging. It isn't for everyone. If you think writing a novel is easy you have been mislead. It's not as hard as, say, brain surgery, but it isn't for the faint at heart. Once you become attached and in love with your characters, it hurts to cause them harm of any kind and as I showed with Granny, it's easy to walk away. It isn't real life. No one is going to make you continue. No one is going to care if you go days, weeks, or months without writing a word. You have to force yourself to keep going. That said, once you finish a work, even if it's just a rough draft with too many typos, poorly structured sentences and have sections that don't quite work, is a real high! After months and months of laboring over a keyboard, cup of coffee at hand, seeing a completed work is worth all the effort.
Think of it like pregnancy. A woman typically goes through morning sickness, aches and pains, kicks, outgrows all her clothes, watches as her body becomes an alien form, and then, after all that, she gives birth! Even with pain meds, it's still painful. But, once she sees that sweet, perfect new born baby, she knows it was worth it!
Ok, I have had four kids and finishing my novel wasn't exactly the same as having children. Seeing a finished product is awesome, but it can't compare to the love of a child, but hopefully the analogy gives you an idea.
Time for me to fill my coffee cup and do more revisions. Get yourself a cup and go to work on your own masterpiece!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
How it all began
Drinking coffee and sitting at the computer staring at the screen filled with words I need to revise, I wonder, "How in the world did I get myself into this?" After all, I am a simple stay at home mother with four children who are perfect (yeah right!). What happened to my days filled with "Blue's Clue's" in the background while I read a perfectly delightful and entertaining book about being a parent? My biggest challenge was making sure my son didn't clean the toilet with his toothbrush. There wasn't too much intelligence or thinking required, just a lot of common sense. At the time it felt wonderful, yet daunting. To have full responsibility of these children was overwhelming at times, but I was rewarded with hugs and kisses and messy fingerprints on my doors. Definitely worth it.Writing is much like parenting. I develop my characters, love and nurture them. I watch them grow in ways I often hadn't planned, and occasionally one changes in ways I never saw coming. There are moments they make me laugh and moments they make me cry. Sometimes, just as with my own children, I am amused and proud, but often I am disgusted and irritated. There are of course "bad guys". I love writing from their point of view, but it is unsettling all the same. My babies, the people I invented and brought to life on paper, develop a level of immorality I certainly do not approve of. It breaks my heart. I love studying others and seeing what makes them tick, and I like looking into their lives and seeing the best hidden deep down in the worst characters and the worst inside the best characters; therefore, I do that in my writing. Although they are fictional characters, they are real to me and to my readers. As I said, they are my children and are complex people. For me, character development for the antagonist is heartbreaking to write. I want everyone to be moral, just as I do my own children, but the complexity and diversity is essential to the stories, plot and character development.
My writing is offering me no income at this point. I look around at all the things we need, things my children are missing out on, and bills needing paid and wonder, "why am I not working full time and chasing a dream?" This question also brings to wonder why I began writing. Is working for nothing in hopes of gaining something worth it? Are my dreams worth the sacrifices? Am I hurting my children? Why do I have such high hopes and big dreams and where did all this start?
I have always enjoyed writing short stories here and there, but with no regularity. I went years without writing anything. After my grandfather died, I had a difficult time accepting his loss and didn't deal with it well. I drank too much, ran around with friends instead of spending time with family, well, I just went crazy! After a few weeks of this, I realized I had to do something to get over the pain, at least enough so I could make through a day. So I wrote. I was honored to have the privilege of being with him during his last eight hours and was with him when he took his last breath. I successfully put those feelings on paper (unfortunately I didn't save it and it was lost when my hard drive crashed), and I have to say it was some of my best work. Looking back over the story and seeing other's reactions as they read it touched me deeply and I knew I was onto something. From that point, I began writing short stories. It wasn't too hard, since I have a very vivid imagination and am a real day dreamer.
How did I manage to go from writing short stories for fun to writing a book and wanting to make this a career? I'll think more on that and answer it in my next blog. Until then, go read a good book and relax!
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